one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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