matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I've blown a few things in my day
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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