I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize