You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
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You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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