he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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