as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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