If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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