i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
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Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
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Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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