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I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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