Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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