Is it normal to miss your booty call?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize