Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Im part way to drunk.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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