Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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