We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
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I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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