it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
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I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
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The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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