Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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