quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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