i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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