Its about making memories worth repressing
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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