Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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