I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's rum buckets o'clock
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize