Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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