we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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