please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize