i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize