I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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