I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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