covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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