the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize