If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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