ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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