Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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