Whod you bang
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize