Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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