Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize