my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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