I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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