Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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