I showed him my bush... on skype.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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