I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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