I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize