so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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