took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
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You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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