The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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