you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
my being single is dangerous.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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