he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
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jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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