I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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