I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize