Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize