OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize