what day is it and did you see me today?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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