i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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