I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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